If you take not one other word of advice from this piece, take this: never, ever, ever say one bad word about your boss to anyyyyone. Ever. Your friends don’t really want to hear it anyway, and your colleagues can’t wait to repeat it. It’s a hard habit to break, particularly because boss bashing is more contagious than chicken pox.
If you are fed up, you are fed up. If the Big Cheese is clearly way out of line, and you are prepared to leave your job to defend yourself and hold on to your self-respect, go for it. When you feel you must go and take a hunk out of the boss:
Do it in private. Do not contradict your boss in public, even if she pins blame on you that you don’t deserve. Wait until you can confront her in private, let your feelings be known, make a specific recommendation about how you would like to see this type of incident handled in the future, but don’t demand an apology. Make sure you have all your facts straight.
Present your side calmly. If you disagree with a decision that The Big Cheese makes, you can go in her office and discuss it. BUT, if it becomes a power struggle, 99 percent of the time, you will not win. To avoid the power issue, present your information in a way that suggests that you accept her decision, but that you have more information that you think will a benefit her. If she will not listen, drop it.
In the end, you can only eat just so much crow. If the boss is unusually cruel or critical, or otherwise abusing his power, it might be time to consider calling his boss. However, my friends, you have to know that you should only go above your boss’s head when you have nothing to lose—I’m talking tossing in your pens and pencils, here.
Your boss will know that you’ve gone “over her head,” and, unless she is willing to admit she was wrong, she will never trust you again, and the relationship will deteriorate from there.
If you see NO ALTERNATIVE but to go over the boss’s head:
Unless your problem with your boss is legal in nature, such as sexual harassment, HR will not be helpful. If you go to HR, chances are that unless they already know the manager is a problem and are working on getting him out, you have now identified yourself as a problem. HR is really not on your side, unless Senior Executives want them to be.
Think about your alternatives. Have a plan. Know what you are trying to achieve: do you want a transfer to a different division? Do you want to report an abuse? What’s your Plan B if this blows up in your face? For example, if the execs make it clear that they can’t resolve this problem with your boss for you, be prepared to request an exit “package”—meaning severance, unemployment, and, possibly continuance of health benefits.
Clear off your computer beforehand. If you go above your boss’s head, be prepared to vacate the building. Sounds extreme, I know, but I’ve seen it happen more than once when an employee goes to complain to upper management, or the Board of Directors, and they never return to their desks. Copy your contact file, remove anything personal from your workstation—just in case. If the management thinks that you are upset enough at your boss, you might just get a personal escort from the building.
If you have strong allies in the upper echelons of the company who value your talent more than they value your boss, you might, repeat, might win. Most of the time, however, if you go above your boss’s head, you will either lose your job or it will become intolerable. That’s just the way the job may crumble.
No matter what happens, remember this: You are the boss of your own life. Have confidence in your work, take pride in the service you provide and your professionalism, and don’t let it eat you up alive. Just make plans to move your experienced self elsewhere.
Jocelyn Greenky
Info@SiderRoad.com
www.siderroad.com